Starting this journey

In about 3 days it will be my 1st wedding anniversary. And I'm still not pregnant with our first child. I knew that this would be hard for me since I have irregular cycles, but I had no idea it would be this hard. I have been trying for a year now and nothing yet. I'm not going to give up because I know that I will have a baby in due time. I took a break from trying so hard and now I'm back on the wagon. I had to take provera to start my cycle and yesterday was my last day taking that. So my period should be here anyday now. I just hope that everything works out and I feel like it will. I just have this feeling that something good has to come our way besides our relationship. It's only right for us to start having our own family. I love hearing stories about other people, but I want to be able to tell stories too. I try not to get myself down about it, it's just since I have found my soulmate all I have wanted to do is to have our children. This is something that I thought about even before we got married. I knew that this road would be hard but then when I found out that I have PCOS I was glad and upset. I have found many other women who are like me and most have at least one child and are trying for another. I just feel sometimes I make things harder than what it needs to be. The break I took did help me realize that I'm too stressful so much that I need to really relax and enjoy life a bit more. Which I have been doing. I'm trying and trying but for some reason that little girl that always told me that I'm being punished for something bad keeps coming back. I know that might sound weird, but growing up for me wasn't easy on me. I'm not saying I had a rough childhood but I did go through things I wish I hadn't. Now as an adult I have to deal and relate to a whole new world. But having a baby would be the best for me. I try to be really happy for others when they tell me that they are pregnant but then I just smile and think why couldn't it be me. I'm ready and able to get pregnant but I know that it takes a lot more than that now a days. Especially with PCOS, I have heard all types of stories and things I could try. But I don't know I just want it to happen naturally and by surprise. But with me monitoring my body I'm noticing things that I didn't notice before and it's great to now know what it feels like to ovulate. Which I don't do very often since I didn't get regular cycles. I'm excited that I'm about to start this journey into motherhood and I'm ready for whatever comes my way. I just know that something special will happen soon for me and Orlando.